SHORTER NONSENSE WRITINGS

 

OUSE TO KNOW POEMS

A RIVER AND ITS KEEPER

There once was a lock keeper of the

Great Ouse

who had so very little time to snooze?

He ate pork pies and didn’t tell any lies.

Narrowboats, cruisers, and barges

River inspectors too,

all came to tea

with the lock keeper of the Great Ouse

 

………………………………………………………………..

 

Once Upon a time, Hermitage lock

swung open the doors and closed the slackers.

Keith said, “This will not do

we will have to bring in the backers and let them go crackers”

The kindly lock keeper at Hermitage lock.

 

The LockKeeper smiled

………………… “secure your boat!”

The Lockkeeper raised his voice

………………….. “ secure your boat!”

The Lockkeeper shouted

………………….. “your boat your boat is not secure.”

Three men in a boat heard through the mist of beer

and secured their boat.

………………………………………………..

 

The rubber on rope squeals,

Rope on steel groans with a stretch,

Brass and rope zings,

The wave of a wake slops against the longboat

rolling it from side to side

The Water Lily with its yellow flower,

Is already tied down.

 

………………………………………………………….

The lonely Lock House at Erith.

Bats in the roof

Boards up at the windows

whispers of an age yet to return.

It is sleeping.

Now sold

…………………………………………………….

 

There were two men on Ouse to Know

who sailed past secretly, stealthily

Letting everyone know.

Watch out for Nathan and Merv the men in blue

For they too have news for you.

 

…………………………………………………………….

Ahoy muskie! ahoy muskie!

Are there any Lily pads in the lock?

can you hear me in the dock?

…cried the keeper of the lock.

…one for the crab.

…one for the water boatman

…one for the frog

…………………………………………………………………

 

The plumber, the electrician, the joiner, and me

we all had biscuits and tea

very often lunch as well

passing time on waterways

……………………………………………………………..

There was once an electrician called Mike

who liked fishing for pike.

His line never got tangled whenever he angled.

Tea with milk and sugar, biscuits broken maybe

Mike never said no.

But oh

how slow was he.

……………………………………………………………

There once was a plumber called Dick who was able to throw a stick.

He used copper to do things proper.

The back boiler, the wood burner, and the sun panels, all agreed

here was a man who was able to please.

……………………………………………………………………………….

Across the river, the moon can be seen

in orange and green

mostly orange against the vast midnight sky. The hunter’s moon in June

over the orange river shadows.

No stars twinkle or wink

Only the moon tonight glows for us

………………………………………………………………..

There once was a couple who walked and talked and thought about a thing or two.

The river looked fine, the sunset on time,

waterlilies, rushes, and reeds.

The occasional Greater Crested Grebe.

diving here and appearing there

forgetting to breathe.

………………………………………………………………

 

Once Upon a time, there was a parrot

called  Kassuku.

He came from Africa but wasn’t a Zulu.

In his dreams, he flew across the Namibian desert.

He decided, it was just a bit too hot,

and was happy with his lot.

………………………………………………………..

 

And me………..

Now there was Pauline

who liked the thought of staying lean

and the very next day she visited the Forest of Dean

she danced and tried to sing

the acting was experimental

(although brilliant)

all the people around her fell in love

as she was so profound……

let’s love

let’s be loved

 

…………………………………………………………..